I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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