Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
whose ass print is on the piano?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
