Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
