How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So much rum. So many feels.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
