the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
