i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize