12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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