We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
