A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
