Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
