So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
