Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
