Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
