One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
where does the pee come out of this thing
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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