I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
how does that bad decision feel?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
