She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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