Who did Billy Mays play for?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Of course I have a pirate flag
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
