Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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