hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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