You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
