wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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