There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
