Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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