i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize