True but thats because hes a fetus.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
