he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
