As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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