I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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