That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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