i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
