Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
