You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
