btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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