Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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