Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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