You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
