No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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