So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
