Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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