bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
