I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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