guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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