I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
