Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
