the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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