And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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