some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize