can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
