i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
