this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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