He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
