I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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