Non-Jews are for practice
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
