Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
