This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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