Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
