I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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