how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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