I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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