The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
