No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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