oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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