i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
