I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize