Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
