she woke up with a sticky ear
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize