Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
sex in a hospital.. check
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
