They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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