I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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