I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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