okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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