My cat gives me a boner
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Houston, we have a squirter
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
