I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
