I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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