why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's never too late to be topless.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize