we're blogging at a bar
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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