Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
